Why am I a Hospice Nurse?

Proudly because:

“A nurse opens the eyes of a newborn & gently closes the eyes of a dying man. It is a blessing to be the first and last to witness the beginning and end of life.” 

This article is written by our president Sr. Sangeetha N

As a qualified nurse with more than two decades of experience, I reflect upon my journey in this field.  A journey I started more out of compulsion rather than passion.  As a child, I was fascinated with numbers, with mathematics being my favourite subject.  It was my mother who forged my journey in nursing.  I soon adapted to the changing landscape of my life, reconciling to nursing the sick. As I transitioned into the roles of wife and mother, my tryst with nursing continued.  I tried to excel in my role, both as a nurse and as a tutor, moulding the nursing skills of many students.  However, with the passing of years, I felt a void, a need to do something more meaningful.

 

Six years ago, I ventured into Karunashraya, a hospice for terminally-ill cancer patients.  With no knowledge of hospice or palliative care, I was deeply intimidated by the expectations of the job.  Was I qualified to do the job? Would I be able to sustain myself in this emotionally arduous job?  I was besieged with many doubts.  But as they say, sometimes all you need is encouragement and belief in yourself.  Karunashraya trusted and encouraged me, helped me believe in myself, and made me realise my own capabilities. Karunashraya provided me with an opportunity to upskill myself and mould myself into the role of a hospice nurse.  Today, as a nursing tutor, I introduce many young nursing students to the joys of being a palliative care nurse.

 

The role of a hospice nurse can be challenging as much as it can be self-satisfying. Nursing terminally ill can be physically tiring and emotionally exhausting.  As the perspective shifts from cure to comfort, compassionate care becomes the norm.  As for me, my perspective shifted from ‘taking care’ of the patient to ‘caring for’ the patient.  For the hospice nurse, patient- and family-centred care is the norm.  It is about making the patients nearing their end of life and their families as comfortable as possible. It is about dressing the foul-smelling maggot-infested wound with a stoic face, as it is about managing pain and other physical symptoms.  It is also about patiently listening to the life story of those who are managing the hardest journey of their lives. It is about sitting in silence and holding the hand of those in the last moments of their life.  It is about consoling those who have lost their loved ones.  It is about providing after-death care to the departed with as much dignity as if they were alive.   It is about wiping your own tears as you lose those you care for.  Palliative care nursing is taking care of yourself as much as you take care of your patients and their families.  And along with competent nursing skills, every palliative care nurse needs to foster active listening and communication skills and skills in self-care as well.  In the hospice, the learning is never-ending; about medicine, about humanity.

 

For many, hospice is a depressing place where patients die in isolation. In reality, hospice is anything but that.  It is filled with beauty, innumerable life experiences, moments of exquisite compassion, and immense spiritual growth.  As we gently close the eyes of the dying, our consoling presence not only brings peace to the patients but to ourselves as well.

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